


The collector

by Inkera



Series: Whumptober [5]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Carrying, Day 7, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Repression, Trauma, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26873083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkera/pseuds/Inkera
Summary: Whumptober Day 7 Prompt: CarryingPearl collects many things in her gem. Eventually, it all gets too heavy.-Tumblr: inkera0
Relationships: Garnet & Pearl (Steven Universe)
Series: Whumptober [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953496
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	The collector

**Author's Note:**

> tw: mentions of trauma

Unlike other gems, pearls have a built-in functionality to organize and store items their owners don’t feel like carrying around. This could be anything from the latest production reports to cleaning supplies that are pulled out when there’s nothing else to do.

For Pearl, life on Earth has her storing miscellaneous trinkets - human and otherwise - that might come in handy down the road. A sword given to her by Bismuth to pull out in a pinch. Strategy plans to go over in the next meeting. After the war, she stores informational books to keep up with human technological advancement (their species remains inferior, but some creations are, admittedly, fairly creative).

It’s practical. Necessary. Two concepts she lives by.

She orders them by function, and failing that, alphabetical by name. The frying pan is in “Cooking Supplies” right next to her spare spatulas (Amethyst’s insatiable appetite that groups utensils in with food makes having these a necessity). Steven’s spare shampoo and conditioner bottles sit in “Cleaning Products” (they were on sale, and one can never be too prepared with all the messy missions they go on). An intricately woven blanket from the 18th century, given to her by Rose, sits in the “B” section because it has no functional purpose for gems unbothered by the cold, but it’s from _Rose_ and thus is still _necessary._

Over time - and _especially_ after the war - her mind-space gets a little more diverse, in that items aren’t the only things she finds herself storing.

Like the first time her trembling fingers find a shattered Crystal Gem in the dirt and grime. That goes in a box of its own labeled “The Gem War” that is filled, bursting at the seams. She stuffs it in with the times she sacrifices herself for the cause alongside her brethren, shoved together with mistakes in a fight that lead to a comrade being shattered to pieces before her eyes. So she pushes it deep down in its own layer beneath “Homeworld,” which is buried layers upon layers beneath “Happy Times With Rose.”

She has a special section for the moment Rose reveals her plans to have a baby, as well as the moment Pearl watches her disappear forever into a crying newborn child.

Try as she might to keep them separate, they sometimes bleed into each other like a watercolor painting, dark hues of fighting and loss mixing in with the cheerful pinks of Rose no matter how much she dirties her hands to keep them from spreading beyond their limits. In the end, her efforts result in a muddied brown forever stained on her soul.

To her ever-increasing horror, they sometimes seep beyond the surface - in her outbursts toward Amethyst ( _”Why can’t you act properly for once?!” “Your form is so sloppy today, you need to take this seriously.”),_ even lashing out at Steven _(”Why won’t you just let me do this for you, Rose?!”)._

It’s not fair for anyone, especially when all of this is supposed to be _done_ and _over._ They won the war! Everything is fine!

But then they peak through the seams in hands clasped tight over her mouth, forcing back words making their way up her throat - in sharp replies when Amethyst goads her to shape-shift, in her guilt-ridden disgust when presented with Steven's first attempt at cooking - and she realizes nothing will ever be fine now that Rose isn’t here to help her forget.

It becomes so heavy that when the truth finally comes out, that instead of the expected disgust toward herself for going against Rose’s - no, _Pink Diamond’s_ \- wishes, all she can feel is _relief._

She finally confides in Garnet when they get back from Homeworld - because of all the things they’ve learned from their time with Steven, one of them is that a family helps each other. They share the weight equally.

“You’ve been carrying so much, Pearl,” says Garnet, as the smaller gem muffles a sob into her shoulder. The dam breaks, and thousands of years of secrets, guilt, and regret come flooding down her face. Garnet holds her tighter; secure. “It’s time to let go.”

**Author's Note:**

> one of my favorite prompts to write for whumptober <3 
> 
> pearl has a lot to unpack over the course of the series.


End file.
